Why do I feel so busy? This question has been plaguing me all week. I mean, let’s get real. I don’t have a “real” job. Aka- I don’t work outside the home. Yet somehow, I feel just as busy if not busier than when I did. Hmmm.
I guess part of me thought that life would look like this:
*Drop kids off at school > Do yoga > throw in some laundry & read a book for an hour while I enjoy my morning coffee > pick up the house (20 minutes tops) > embroider for 2-3 hours > fold clothes > pick up kids > Have fun & relax
Boy was I naive. In reality my days are feeling rather productively unproductive. Huh? Yeah. I feel like I work in a circle. Wear clothes > wash clothes > fold clothes > wear clothes… Cook food > clean kitchen > do dishes > cook food… Repeat. Endlessly. I mean, there are days where I swear I clean that f-ing kitchen FOUR TIMES! I still haven’t figured out how that is entirely possible or how the hell we managed all of this with us both working full time. I mean, the kids come home to a clean house yet my husband comes home to a messy one. I go to bed to a clean house, but I drop off the kids at school and come home to a messy one. Wait, I think I’m starting to see a common denominator *wink*.
But it isn’t for nothing. I do have many joys I didn’t have the luxury for before. Raspberry chocolate chip pancakes anyone?They sure do beat stuffing a granola bar down my throat as I race to work late again. I also get the opportunity to share in M.O.M.S group each week and connect with local women. Oh and don’t forget the occasional lunch or cup of joe with a friend. I have time for yoga (some days which is more than the zero days I had before). I have time for God & reading the Bible. I have time for others in need. Did I mention that I’m getting more time to spend with YOU? Instead of a whenever-the-hell-I-get-to-it sort of blog schedule I now have the opportunity to post more frequently; and if not for your benefit then for mine. After all, as the wonderful Amy Poehler said- “You do it because the doing of it is the thing. The doing is the thing. The talking and worrying and thinking is not the thing.” ― Amy Poehler, Yes Please. I am also getting the opportunity to add better content and make tutorials, etc. All things I enjoy and wouldn’t have had the time (or energy) for before.
I find time to work on projects and daydream about future ones I hope to do- not as much as I like, but still. Maybe it’s that there is never enough time for that when I am feeling inspired. Sadly, the business portion of things is a lot like housekeeping; it takes up more time than you think and isn’t much fun. Necessary evils, I suppose. But I’m trying to concentrate on loving the act and not the result. I mean, is updating my Etsy page and getting more sales important or is it enjoying the act of making? If I work to hard on one I lose the other completely & I know this: I never want to lose the joy. I love this quote from Amy Poehler:
“I will say it again. Ambivalence is key.
You have to care about your work but not about the result. You have to care about how good you are and how good you feel, but not about how good people think you are or how good people think you look. . .
You will never climb Career Mountain and get to the top and shout, “I made it!” You will rarely feel done or complete or even successful. . . Our ego is a monster that loves to sit at the head of the table, and I have learned that my ego is just as rude and loud and hungry as everyone else’s. It doesn’t matter how much you get; you are left wanting more. Success is filled with MSG.”
So as I finish this up I am off to tackle my pile of laundry while I listen to amazingly educational & inspiring podcasts, clean my kitchen for time #1 of 3, get to the doctor’s office on time to figure out what the hell I did wrong to my finger, hurry home to let the dog out, eat something, do more laundry, hang my curtains, take a bunch of crap down to the garage that doesn’t need to be up here, find time to go grocery shopping without the kids, try not to get sucked into social media, pick the kids up, cook, clean, and start it all over again tomorrow all without losing the joy. *wink*
How do you find balance?
I’d love to hear your thoughts!